Wavering courage

"How am I..." I trailed off, frowning at the icy blue water below, trying to judge the distance. Thirty feet, maybe? The question was an academic one at that point; everyone else had easily made the jump, throwing themselves bodily into the lake like so many keys flung carelessly onto so many kitchen tables. Even the girls. The primal schoolyard instinct to not be outdone by the fairer sex had already secured its victory; it was now merely a formal matter of how and when.

I was alone on the ledge now; the others had moved on to a different jumping spot that was supposedly higher and more daunting. I could hear their laughter and French-accented woohooery in the near distance, and again as the voices echoed off of the other side of the valley. Looking off to the right, I could see the tiny figures of people enjoying themselves on a small beach. Suddenly I became paranoid that they were watching me hesitate at the ledge. I scanned them for saracastic waving or cheering, but they appeared not to notice me. To be on the safe side, I tried to lean casually against the rockface behind me. If they did happen to look over, all they would see was a disaffected man standing on a cliff--one who clearly had more pressing matters to attend to than jumping off of it. I was in my underwear.

Had I been a little more mentally agile, I would have observed to myself that this was a metaphorically loaded moment indeed: there were cliffs and leaps and wavering courage and unknown depths, all coming in the first weeks after quitting my job, selling my things, and travelling the world. Instead, though, I stared sadly at a distant plant.

After some time, the drone of taunting and whooping once again grew nearer, until, Little-Rascal-like, they were back amongst the ledges and shrubs that surrounded me, wet and shivering and passing fresh beers all around.

I turned to them and said, "I need courage. If you all count to three, though, I'll jump. Will you count for me?" A happy flurry nods and yeses.

They counted, and I lept--with a barely audible "Mon dieu!" at the apex.